like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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