And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
