One girl and one boy is just not enough.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize