Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
