I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
