standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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