I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
