i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
