he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
