are you still at the devil's house?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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