She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize