I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
