There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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