it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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