They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
