how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Randomize
