Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
