I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
