yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
