Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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