Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
