I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
