Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
