i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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