i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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