I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
