hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
