i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize