let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
