Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
