My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize