when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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