My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
