i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
