I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
