a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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