I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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