hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
