This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
