I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
