she looked like the before picture.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
