you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
