is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
