I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
