so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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