ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize