Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
