so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
