I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
