She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
