Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
