He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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