you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
