come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
