he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just forgot I was standing up.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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