only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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