It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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