oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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