We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
