I just made out with a guy for $7.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
