Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
try to milk me bitch
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