Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
