can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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