I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
