When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
