i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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