Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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