I feel like I'm in dance class right now
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
