you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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