This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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